old friends vs best friends

i have the tism ok?  so in my head i put a heirarchy of relationships to keep things sorted. 

it's ok to have best friends that are like family at your top tier but also reserve space

for old friends who may no longer be best friends but you would stop at least 10 minutes out of your day to greet them if ever they needed to talk out of the blue. 

My oldest friends tend to be previous best friends and we grew apart either in distance from moving around or place in life... maybe both. 

I don't speak to my oldest friends on a daily or maybe even a monthly basis but if they were to contact me, and sometimes they do, I will give them space and talk to them without missing a beat because they are dear to me and i cherish them forever for what they brought to my life.  

I find that people come into and out of focus in your life at different times and that's ok.  Every connection you make can add value to your life if you let it. 

(huggles to all the old friends wherever you are.)

my cat passed away and i'm devastated... (found in drafts folder)

I found the below in my drafts folder from almost 2 years ago and after reading it i cried for half an hour all over again .  i still miss my cat. 

i had a cat named Livia who was almost 15 years old in a few months and she passed away.  she had  feline thyroid disease and their life expectancy is from 10 to 12 yrs of age. She beat the max by 3 years.  the last year she has been on the decline by alot and fast.  

i need help to work thru my grief because she was such a huge part of my life and family.  i have her littermate/brother Guster still who is doing fantastic health-wise and a younger cat who is almost 4 yrs old named Dusty Bunny who are doing ok and giving lots of cuddles. 

my life feels shattered without Livia in so many ways.  She was always mine... like i was her chosen human out of everyone she'd met. i was her fave and i was honored. she was the MVP in the house who you could rely on. Livia had quirks for sure but who doesn't?  she was also wicked smart. 

for most of her life there was just two, her and her brother being goobers then my partner got a kitten to bring into the house and while it was chaos it was also good to keep our older kitties active. Livia would most often be the peacemaker and offer to cuddle with either of the others. Never out of place when one of the cats came back from the vet office. she 

forget a Song... a whole Soundtrack is ruined....

 Ever being doing work and listening to music and you suddenly get crazy sad and emo and moved to tears from the music..... and you stop  to figure out why.... 

Then it dawns on you that the music makes you feel some way because it was a special moment with your EX .   One you even parted ways with first and it's been a couple of years already.

Yep. forget the song... the whole damn soundtrack is ruined because i went to this Musical with him back in the day. 

it's not even just a skip, i have to stop all the things i'm doing and take all the songs out of my whole playlist.   Cause i don't have time for some emotional transferrance to a piece of music that is innocent of all blame. 

dammit .. Memories that stick to sounds, smells, and feelings are both good and bad. blargh. 

BLARGH i say !